Journey diary – Durdle Door (2023)

This was an impromptu trip which we decided to spend this year’s last bank holiday together because my friend and I haven’t seen each other for a while and it would be nice to catch up in a beautiful place. Relying on the weather, we booked a hotel a day before the trip.

This is good about the UK. As it’s not very big, if we cannot find a low-cost place to stay at the last minute, we still can drive back home in the same day. This is good about the UK, if the weather forecast does not say continuous rainy days, we will see sunshine (or rainbows) to somepoint in the travelling. Luckily, in the trip the weather pleased us so much. Not hot, no rain, a little breeze, and sunny.

27th August, Sunday, Sunny

I left home at 7ish in the morning and headed to East London to meet my friend around 9:30am. I prepared for the heavy traffic. I think the road business was due to more cars on the road rather than many roadworks or car accidents etc. I didn’t take the Motorway (M25) as there would be a Dartford Crossing charge on the top of ULEZ/LEZ charges. I don’t know London well and hardly travel to London areas, so I accepted the time it took due to the roads with 30mph/20mph speed limits.

I love thatched cottages. Thus, when I came across a picture that shows an old mill house in Dorking, I suggested we stop on the way to Dorset and wander the Surrey Hills Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty and pretty villages in the area.

Around 10:40am, we arrived at the National Trust Stepping Stones car park. This is a small car park which is close to the Stepping Stones, and requests for uphill walking if you want to see the breathtaking views across the North Downs. We took short paths shown on the map and reached the Box Hill main car park and centre, where were busier and enjoyed the views. If you don’t like to walk uphill paths, you’d better drive to the National Trust Box Hill main car park and wander the short or long routes from there.

A short path from a low side of the hill to the top view point of the hill.

The Box Hill is definitely a nice place to have a wander. We only walked a small area of it. If I have a chance next time, I’d love to walk a long route and reach the Broadwood’s Tower.

Around 12:30pm we arrived at Westcott to search for the old mill cottage. However, as the location on the map shared from this webpage old mill house in Dorking is incorrect, we ended up to see a different old mill house (the pink mill house, see a picture below) and couldn’t find the one in the picture on the webpage. Ultimately, we asked a local resident and found it (the white cottage, see pictures below).

If you park at the Westcott street and walk towards the Balchins Lane, you can easily see the pink mill house. You can then walk along a narrow public path along the Pipp Brook stream to get the A25 Guildford Road. However, I won’t recommend this path as the Pipp Brook western side of the path is all private and fenced. A stream, green fields, and a bevy of deer were faintly discernible but we could not cross. A better way will be parking near the Holy Trinity Church and walk through the green path marked on the map below. You also can drive on the A25 Guildford Road and turn at the Rookery Drive (the orange patch marked on the map below). But there aren’t public parking spaces. Walking will be much easier.

The routes toward the old mill cottage

Here is a video I made and some photos of the beautiful views.

Around 2:30pm we headed to the Bridge House, where is a convenient hotel near the A348 Ringwood Road, Ferndown. In the hotel, they provided a list of local nice places. We noticed that Longham Lakes are close. So we decide to go there to have a look in the next morning.

28th August, Monday, Sunny

It was a pleasant morning. We wandered the Longham Lakes after breakfast. There are three big lakes and quite a few people were camping and fishing there. We walked there through a gate with a sign of “Longham Reserviors – cark park for Authorised Users only”. It’s not easy to park aound. If you drive, you might be able to park at the entrance of the Green Lane, or somewhere on the Ringwood Road.

We then drove to the Durdle Door car park and got there around 11:30am. As it’s a bank holiday, there must be hundreds of cars and thousands of visitors. Despite many visitors, we don’t regret of spending 4 hours (£6) there. Such magnificent coast sceneries indeed bring great enjoyment to every visitor. It’s a bit of walk from the car park to the Durdle Door beach. However the views definitely shrinked the distance and long walks on steep downhill/uphill paths. Sitting on the land and watching people swiming, playing, frolicking and basking on the sand, I felt blessed very much

We wandered from the Durdle Door to the Lulworth Cove (about 30 minutes walk) and returned on the same route. Near the Stair Hole, we saw youngsters, naked, coasteering. Even though the temperature was 20 degrees, it felt warm due to no sea breeze. There is a car park next the Lulworth Cove. Equally as busy as the Durdle Door car park. It’s right beside the West Lulworth village, where have some pretty thatched cottages. We didn’t have enough time to wander the village, but by driving pass the village twice, it indicated the village is attractive and worthy of exploring on foot.

Around 3:45pm we drove back London and I got home around 11:20pm.

The two-days trip was a bit of tight and long-distance driving but very agreeable, especially with a close old friend. The Jurassic Coast without doubt is a wonderful place to take a holiday at. I would love to go again and stay there for a week to explore the area. I made a video of it as a memory.

Overview of 2022

How fast a year could be? As fast as we could perceive. It’s not a personal thing, but an interesting broad human perception. Isn’t it? How often did we hear people say “This year flies by” at the end of a year? Although I don’t have a preferred answer, I enjoyed read a blog post – “No, It’s Not Just You: Why time “speeds up” as we get older” and its comments.

Seems I haven’t done a lot this year, however, I was busy this year until now it’s a time to look back and write a summary.

For me, a key word for the first half of 2022 is “attempt”. A key word for the second half of 2022 is “change”. I left a position and a place that I am familiar with and like. Perhaps I’m not a person who easily contents myself with what I’m doing. I don’t know my decision is wise or not, right or not. I just did it as I thought it could be a good chance to try something different. Like me in 20 years ago. I never regret my decision made 20 years ago. I hope I wouldn’t regret this time too.

In 2022, many lucky things happened on me, though some unlucky things too, but I normally don’t remember the unlucky things. The most grateful thing was that I met a handful really nice friends. We gradually knew each other better and had a lot of pleasant time together during the year. This kind of supportive friendship is priceless.

I learned that once made a commitment, it will return good surprises that I never expected. It’s a long-term commitment, over 10 years, to volunteering. I enjoyed doing it without a purpose. Those rewards and recognisations before I left the city like a magnet for me to miss the city, the events, and the people. I will bring it with me to the new place.

Relocation is a time-consuming and costly task. Comparing to 2 large travel suitcases in 20 years ago, this time I had 20 different size cardboard boxes more. Although I have sold as many objects as possible, I wonder how much essential stuff I still need. I heared the book <<DanShaRi>> (断舍离) written by Hideko Yamashita, but I haven’t read it. I like the want/need glass and always use it to remind myself when managing my stuff. I thought they have the same philosophy behind. However, this time I regret that I didn’t keep two objects that would be really useful. Maybe I should have read the DanShaRi and learned what I should not “Sha”.

With Covid situation in mind, I didn’t travel as much as I like. I hope next year I will be able to visit my parents and travel more.

I learned many new things in a different area and learned myself more due to relocation. However I didn’t blog and read books as many as I like. I hope next year I will pick them up.

I don’t dare to wish too much. I’m grateful to what I have had during 2022 and wish nothing but good health, safe and peace throughout 2023.

Journey diary – Skomer and Pembrokeshire Coast (2022)

Third time lucky! As I couldn’t make a trip to the Skomer Island before, I felt very blessed this time because the weather was gorgeous, the boat was not cancelled, no Covid restrictions, and a group of good friends were with me.

This was a 3-day trip. Because landing on the Skomer to watch the puffins was my obsession, I booked the boat trip three months prior to the landing day. I left the arrangement of the other two days for my friends. Normally if I travel to somewhere, I tend to visit places where I haven’t been before. However, as long as I could see puffins, I didn’t mind re-visit some places with friends. It offered different fun.

10th June, Friday, Sunny

Around 10:30am, we set off to Pembrokeshire. We stopped at the Penllergare Valley Woods to pick up a friend. Penllergare Valley Woods is a park near M4. It has a small garden, waterfalls and old bridges and woods along a stream. It’s a nice place to take a break if you drive a long distance.

We headed to Stackpole and parked at the Broad Haven Beach South Car Park. We walked along the Lily Pools and then reached the Broad Haven South Beach. Then came back from another side of the Lily Pools. Considering the time, we didn’t go to the Barafundle Bay Beach as we planned. As previously I stopped at the Stackpole car park and walked around the Fish Pond and Barafundle Bay Beach, I didn’t feel pity and thought this walk was very enjoyable. With a group of people, often we walk fewer places than we walk by ourselves. It’s not a big deal.

Around 7:00pm, we arrived at a house in Haverfordwest (reserved from Airbnb). It’s very convenient for all of us. If you travel with a group of people, I think this is better way than staying at a B&B or a hotel.

11th June, Saturday, Sunny

I knew that the trip was canelled on Friday even though it was a sunny day. Not only the dry weather matters, but more importantly, it’s the wind (direction and heaviness) affects boat trips. So I worried that our boat trip would be cancelled too.

Luckily, all fine. We have booked the Land on Skomer day trip for 11:00am. So needed to get there at 10:00am to check in. At the time we arrived at the Lockley Lodge Visitor Centre, it was tamping down. After 20 minutes or so, the cloud spred out and the blue sky appeared. The magic weather! On the boat, the guide talked about the history of the area and two seagulls flied with the boat and had a treat from the guide. It brought more fun for the bumpy 15minutes-ish boat journey.

Another guide on the island gave us a short introdution to the Skomer and the rules of protecting the environment: keeping your walk on the paths and taking rubbish with you. Indeed, I love Skomer! It’s not very big, 4-hours walking around it is not difficult. The view from any angles is beautiful. There are many types of species. Apart from puffins and seagulls, I also saw rabbits, kittiwakes, choughs, oystercatchers, guillemots, razorbill, and fulmar. From the east side, to the north side, from the west side to the south side of the island, each dimension has different landscapes. The large amount of puffins (30,000+) gatherred on the island, especially at the south-west side. If you are interested in having a close look at puffins, check these videos.

• BBC – Cute Baby Puffin video
• Puffins Pick the Perfect Home
• puffin digging a burrow video
• Skomer island live webcams

This was a perfect trip for me. I was so pleased to see so many puffins around. I recommend it to everyone. If it’s possible, landing on the island in different seasons (It opens between April and October. It said the best time to see puffins is in May to July).

Puffins on the Skomer Island, Wales, UK

12th June, Sunday, Sunny

We drove back home and stopped a few places according with wishes. The first stop was Little Haven, whch is a very quiet small village. Then we stopped on the Welsh Road near the Clifftops Camping Druidston and had a walk along coastal paths and viewed the glorious Pembrokeshire countryside. There is a disabled car park and the path is easy access for wheelshair users.

After a simple camping lunch, we headed to Wild Lakes and had a break there. This a place for families and children who love aqua activities. It’s nice to see youngsters to play walkboard.

About 15:15pm, we arrived at the Colby Woodland Garden. This is a National Trust site and offers plenty woodland trails. As we needed to pick up a friend at the Grove of Narberth (an elegant hotel with charming cottages surrounded by gardens, meadows and trees and a meandering stream with views to the Preseli Hills), we only wandered the woodland garden and a small part of the woodland. Next time, I would leave about 2-3 hours for the Colby Woodland Garden.

Roughly at 8:00pm, we had a nice dinner together in a restaurant to mark the end of our pleasant trip.

Does getting things done mean resting your mind?

Interestingly I came across the book <<Getting Things Done: the art of stress-free productivity>> by David Allen (2015). Even unexpectedly, on pages 88-91 it talked about the importance of setting up the space which can impact productivity. This seems very related to me because we have been working from home due to Pandemic and a new blended working method is underway. It mentioned the concept of “hotel-ing”, which is a similar idea of what we are promoting. It said as follows, which to some extend has given me a clue of why I felt it’s not ready.

Experiments have failed in this scheme, because they disrupted the stable workstation. There must be zero resistance to using the systems we have.

You need to use your system – not continually have to re-create it.

You can work virtually anywhere if you have a clean, compact system and kow how to process your stuff rapidly and portably. But you’ll still need a home base with a well-grooved set of tools and sugicient space for all the reference and support material that you’ll want somehwere close at hand when you land.

(p.91)

Nowadays, we can cope with many barriers and work digitally and virtually. I think this reading helps me to rethink what I really need when working and not working in the office.

From now, I decided to try a mindmap creation tool, called Coggle, to keep my takeaways from the book. It will provide a visual version of the key ideas that I learned from the book and an easy way for me to revisit it. (Note: It may not be fully accessible for people who use assistive tools as I haven’t tested how well the Coggle handles accessibility for visual mindmaps.)

The 80/20 Principle

I learned the ‘80/20 Principle‘ around twenty years ago from a training session. However, I never read any book about it or learned it, or say, thought to learn it systematically as it sounded a simple concept. Until recently I had a chance to read a book – <<The 80/20 Principle: The Secret of Achieving more with less>> written by Richard Koch (1998 version).

I’m pleased to read the book and correct some of my misconceptions, and rethink things from an angle that perhaps I was against before.

The first one is that I understood that the Pareto Principle of Imbalance is the 80/20 Principle. This pattern was firstly discovered in 1897, by Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto. I am no different from many hard-working people, often thought causes and results are generally balanced. I forgot to observe the effective 20% and failed to use the ‘imbalance’ to generate more effectiveness and outcomes.

But this ‘50/50 fallacy’ is one of the most inaccurate and harmful, as well as the most deeply rooted, of our mental maps. The 80/20 Principle asserts that when two sets of data, relating to causes and results, can be examined and analysed, the most likely result is that there will be a pattern of imbalance. (p.10)

The second area is Simplicity and Complexity. I think over the past ten years, my working activities have become more and more complex. I always expect the processes, deployment and implementation are simple and straightforward, however often they are not, and therefore often I doubt myself, am I too simple and ignorant to think through complex activities? Now, the 80/20 Principle becomes a useful guide to me.

Since complexity is both interesting and rewarding to managers, it is often tolerated or encouraged until it can no longer be afforded. (p.100)

There is thus a natural tendency for business, like life in general, to become overcomplex. All organizations, especially large and complex ones, are inherently inefficient and wasteful. They do not focus on what they should be doing. They should be adding value to their customers and potential customers. Any activity that does not fulfil this goal is unproductive. Yet most large organizations engage in prodigious amounts of expensive, unproductive activity. (p.101)

The third area is that I learned a bit of managing money, labour leverage, and investment. I think this is the most unexpected learning area before reading this book. I didn’t completely believe that we should use contractors as much as possible. I didn’t think to learn investment tips from this book (Note: I don’t know how well these tips have been applied and guided people, but it sounds applicable to people who have extra savings).

The other thing to remember is that once you have a little spare cash, it can easily be multiplied. Save and invest. This is what capitalism is all about. To multiple money, you don’t need to be in business. You can simply invest in the stock market, using the 80/20 Principle as your guide. (p.187)

“… a predictable and highly unbalanced distribution of money. Money, it seems, dislikes being equality distributed. … This is because the majority of wealth is created from investment rather than from income; and because investment returns tend to be even more unbalanced than income returns.” (pp.224-225)

Last but not least, the 10 rules for career success. It suggests that to be specialised, to enjoy your specialisation, to identify your market and to become self-employed. Yes, I always admire those who are self-employed as I know they must be an expert in a specialised area, they hold knowledge, and they gain the most value they create. I think often I’m interested in many things, wanted to learn/do so many things and have spent time on too many areas. The emphasis of ‘Specialisation’ made me remember the viewpoints from the book <<So Good They Can’t Ignore You>>. I wrote about it briefly.

Specialization is one of the great, universal laws of life. This is how life itself evolved, with each species seeking out new ecological niches and developing unique characteristics A small business that does not specialize will die. An individual who does not specialize will be doomed to life as a wage slave. (p.212)

I didn’t spend a lot of time on reading the Chapter 15 and 16 because I wanted to apply the 80/20 Principle to gain 80% of content that matters to me the most. The Chapter 15 is about the Seven Habits of Happiness. As I preferred what I learnt from the Harvard Open Courses 1504, I quickly browsed it and checked if there was anything new. The Chapter 16 discusses more about the use of the 80/20 Principle in helping a better society. The analysis from right wing and left wing didn’t do it for me.

At the end, I absolutely recommend people to read this book if you are like me, have learned the Principle briefly but haven’t read any book about it and haven’t applied it very much. Here, I list some of my favourite quotes from the book:

Who you work for is more important than what you do. (p.26)

Impatient people don’t make good negotiations. (p.135)

‘Hedonism’ is often held to imply selfishness, a disregard for others and a lack of ambition. All this is a smear. Hedonism is in fact a necessarily condition for helping others and for achievement. It is very difficult, and always wasteful, to achieve something worthwhile without enjoying it. If more people were hedonistic, the world would be a better and, in all senses, a richer place. (p.150)

The really serious issue is not unemployment or poverty, but inequality. (p.265)

Journey diary – North Devon Coast (2022)

After long grey skies in winter and three storms (Dudley, Eunice, Franklin), I decided to take a break from work on a whim as the weather becomes so wonderful. From my list of want-to-see places, I chose one area and booked it at the last minute.

Here was the plan, but changed slightly in the actual journey.

Sunday the 20th March, sunny

It took about 2hrs to get Dunster, a mediaeval village. I didn’t plan to visit the Dunster Castle and only planned to stroll around the village. However, when I drove into the area and saw the castle on the hill, I changed my mind. It’s a right decision. I stayed there about 2hrs to see the Castle, the gardens, the watermill, and the village. The village is very small, basically wandered two streets. For people who enjoy shopping and sit in the sun for a cup of tea, it’s pleasant. The Castle and Watermill is big and I quite enjoyed walking all areas where it offered. Surely I will recommend it as a day trip.

As I have been Minehead before, I didn’t stop there and headed to Lynton for the next stop, where I arrived at the Valley of Rocks at 14:30ish. Climbing up to the top wasn’t difficult and some people were free solo climbing there. I had a nice talk with them and learned that by knocking and listening to the rock sound, you will know if the part you are going to hold is safe or not. Walking through the coast path from the Valley of Rocks to the Lynton town centre was about 1.5 miles and easy as the path isn’t like muddy rural coast routes. It’s a very pleasant walk with wonderful sea views. An interesting thing was I stood in the middle and saw the little cars going up and down from the Lynton & Lynmouth Cliff Railway and the driver and passengers waved to me. I saw this kind of cliff railway in Aberystwyth once. Lynton is at the high level of the cliffs and Lynmouth is at the low level of the cliffs (near the sea), therefore driving between the two towns are tricky. I think it will be much easier by walking between the two places than driving. In addition, a tip here: walking along the main road between Lynton town centre and the Valley of Rocks will save you about 10 minutes than walking the coast path between the two places.

At 16:45ish, I arrived at a B&B beside the East Lyn River. Lynmouth is a beautiful harbour town – called “little Switzerland”. As it’s still in the early spring, green colours of trees have not appeared yet, but I can imagine it must be more pretty in summer and autumn time. However, I think it could be expensive for people who live there considering high risks of flooding, falling trees from cliffs and storms near the shore.

Monday the 21st March, sunny

In the morning, I strolled around tranquil Lynmouth in the cold sea breeze. Indeed it is a stunning place with cliffs, a small bay, boats, seafront, river, woodland, old bridges and houses. Ideal for a day walk or stay a night.

I headed to Ilfracombe, which took about 40mins from Lynmouth by driving. This harbour town is absolutely worthy of visiting. I spent 3.5hrs there, including walking to the Hele Bay. If I didn’t need to visit other places, to stay a day and a night here would be a better plan. Ilfracombe was busier comparing to other places I visited in this trip. It tells how popular it is even during the off-season. I was amazed by Damien Hirst’s Verity and a graceful view from the Capstone Hill. Unfortunately, the Tunnels Beaches was not open between November and March. A tip here: walking from the Pier to the Hel Bay through the coast path took longer than I thought, about 50mins. Walking through the main road would save more time, but the view wouldn’t be as nice as the coast route.

My next stop was Lee Bay, however, due to the roads shut, I passed the narrow country lanes towards it. I stopped and asked a local man who managed the Warcombe Farm Camping Park, he told me that it’s not easy to drive into the Lee Beaches due to the works from BT, a few routes to the Lee Bay had been affected. I’d better not drive back and try to access it through alternative routes if I’m not local. Apart from the inconvenience, I hope the broadband in these nice rural areas will be improved.

Then I visited Woolacombe, strolled around the Combesgate Beach, Barricane Beach, and the Woolacombe Beach. Like all popular holiday beaches, Woolacombe offers glorious long sandy beaches, rocky pools and resort facilities. I even spotted running wild rabbits on the shore. I have to admit I love the picturesque coves and flat sandy beaches. The rocks on the sand look like Chinese landscape painting, breathtaking! Next time, I would stay two days at Woolacombe.

At 16:30pm I headed to Bideford, where I stayed for the second night.

Tuesday the 22nd March, sunny

Bideford is a town that wasn’t originally on my visit list. It appeared when I tried to get a good bargain at my last-minute booking. It’s not the kind of places I would choose to visit, however, in the morning I wandered around the town centre about an hour and found the scenery along the River Torrridge was beautiful apart from the strong gasoline smell from ships.

After breakfast, I headed to Brownsham and arrived at the Brownsham National Trust Car Park at 10:00am. My primary visit was Clovelly, a private owned village. It said people cannot buy houses there except rent. The entry charge is £8.5 for an adult. Instead of parking at the Clovelly visitor centre, I took the Brownsham and Clovelly walking route, not only because of not wanting to pay the admission fee, but also because I wanted to see the Blackchurch Rock and the landscape.

There is an instruction map of different walking routes at the Brownsham car park. It’s easy to follow the National Trust footpath signs to pass through the woodlands, hay meadows and farms. I met a couple at the car park, so we chatted and walked together to Clovelly village. The tracks were dry and not difficult to walk through, but included many uphills and downhills. About 40mins, we stopped at the Mouthmill Beach, where I didn’t realise the Blackchurch Rock is at the corner. Because of the high tide, it’s impossible to see it. We met 4-5 small groups of hikers, which showed the walk route is popular.

At 11:45ish, we arrived at Clovelly, where were more visitors. To me, the first impression of the village was: the steep cobbled lanes, the sledges outside each house, the fishmen’s cottages, donkeys’ braying, and the small harbour. It’s a unique small place that keeps its traditional life style and delivers goods using donkeys and sledges. The Clovelly Court Gardens is open from 1st April to 30th September. It’s pleasant to sit at the sunny side of the harbour wall, enjoy the spring sunshine and chat with other visitors. I definitely recommend this picturesque village.

About 13:30pm, I had to return. I stopped at the Mouthmill again and with a low tide, I could walk to the Blackchurch Rock and look at it closely. I felt lucky that I tried to find where it is. If I walked through a different route, I might have missed it again at afternoon. The rocky beach and the sea views were stunning, but needed to be careful when walked across the rocks. This rocky shore is different from the rocky shore at Woolacombe, another type of gracefulness.

At 15:30 I ended this trip and drove about 3hrs home. I chose to drive through the Exmoor National Park rather than the A361. The route was shorter and took more time, but the landscape of moorland, woodland and valleys was striking and the driving on narrow country lanes was thrilling and exciting. Luckily, there weren’t many vehicles travelling in the opposite direction, and I didn’t need to stop and pass each other slowly. Actually, if I had more time, I would have stopped at a few of villages and moorland to take photos.

This was a satisfied trip. In general, the weather was wonderful, warm but not hot yet. Mostly driving was on country roads/lanes but little traffic. The places were new for me but all beautiful. It seemed little sense of COVID and the B&Bs maintained hight standards of cleanliness and hygiene. If I plan to visit Devon again, I would explore the Exmoor National Park, stay at Woolacombe and visit Westward Ho! too.

Overview of 2021

It is another strange year and I have kept moving forward as well as I can. In this longing quiet holiday break, I have time to catch up things that I have laid aside. The unfortunate thing is the sun has got his hat on and the Omicron cases keep rising since 23rd December. So I had to give up travelling to new places, even within the UK.

What had I done and what have been changed? A few highlights:

• Volunteering for racing events was possible, even though many events were delayed.
• Efficiency and effectiveness become significant as it seems time flies by faster than before.
• It’s so easy to immerse into videos via mobile devices unintentionally. Self-discipline becomes more important than ever.
• If cannot achieve the goals, try not off track. Reading, physical activity and creating are still my favourite solutions.
• Although I prefer the traditional way of reading good books with a cup of tea aside, listening to audio books has gradually replaced it.

I was able to read the book <<How to Win Friends and Influence People>> written by Dale Caregie during the Christmas break (a 2006 version). Thus I share the valuable tips learnt from this book as good wishes for 2022.

My intention to read this book was not to “win friends” but to learn a bit of “human relationships”. I have been satisfied with a handful of true friends whom I have met in the UK and have been supporting me over the years. I’m sure others have such friends too. As stated in the book, it aims to help us achieve eight things. I think before borrowed the book, my initial idea was to gain insights on the areas of 1, 5 and 7. Indeed after completed the book, I found more useful tips that I can apply daily.

• Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new ambitions.
• Make friends quickly and easily.
• Increase your popularity.
• Win people to your way of thinking.
• Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done
• Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
• Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
• Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

Firstly, I found these principles are applied and suggested by Dustin Bakkie in a University of Kent webinar – Fostering Student Engagement in Your Courses (@6:00) – the first C of 3 C’s – “Say student’s names and pronouns as accurately and granularly as possible. Names have power.” Indeed, this is the Principle 3 that Dale Carnegie had suggested for making people like you, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and the most important sound in any language.” (pp.78-87) I have to confess I didn’t try to call people’s full names correctly, even for one of my colleagues who I have worked with for many years, I cannot pronounce her name correctly. I called her shorten names for granted. I guess it’s for avoiding other people’s embarrassment, they often introduced a shorten and easy-to-pronounce name beside their full names too. However, indeed hearing my name is called correctly is such a sweet thing.

Secondly, a strange thing for me was I felt more comfortable with the British way of not asking too personal questions with non-familiar ‘friends’ comparing to the Chinese way of asking many detailed personal questions from non-familiar ‘friends’ and feeling difficult to not honestly answer as it is a sign of social acceptance and making friends. One principle suggested in the book is to “Become genuinely interested in other people“. I suppose this is where I failed a lot. Most time, I’m interested in a thing, an object, a method, a person’s behaviour or an action. I avoided to show too much interesting in others as I thought it would be nosy or flattery, they may think none of their things are your business. Probably I should apply more Chinese ways of being interested in people.

Thirdly, the first suggested principle for winning people to your way of thinking is “the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” I think I did this okay, but I don’t know if I did it successfully. If I have a view, I state it but I don’t try to convince the other side to use my way, I provide reasons. If we could have a compromise acceptable to both, it’s nice. If we couldn’t, I often apologise first and don’t try to be involved in again. There are a lot that I can improve. It’s to avoid the argument, not to avoid the involvement.

Last but not least, I think some of the principles might not very applicable for the present reality. For example, some advice from the book is “let the other person do a great deal of the talking.” I think in my workplace, I kept quiet and let others talk a lot unless there was something I didn’t agree or understand completely. If I had the similar views or ideas, I wouldn’t mention it as I thought others already said it, why shall I say it again? With this happened more and more, I felt it’s not good as people think I have little contributions and ideas. I felt my British colleagues like to scramble to speak and perform, especially in meetings. I might have misunderstood this principle and haven’t grasped the essence of how to apply it.

In a nutshell, Six ways to make people like you: (p.116)

• Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.
• Principle 2: Smile.
• Principle 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
• Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
• Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
• Principle 6: Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

I include more suggested principles below. However, these texts won’t help me much as I either already applied them or will forget them soon. The better way of learning which ones are most useful for us is to read the personal stories in the book and linking our own experience to it and consciously practice one or two as a start. It may be uncomfortable, but just sincerely try it and don’t expect it will work immediately and magically. I think one principle I will do from now is “Never say, ‘You’re wrong.’“

In a nutshell, Win people to your way of thinking: (p.205)

• Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
• Principle 2: Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, ‘You’re wrong.’
• Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
• Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.
• Principle 5: Get the other person saying ‘yes, yes’ immediately.
• Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
• Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
• Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
• Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
• Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
• Principle 11: Dramatise your ideas.
• Principle 12: Throw down a challenge.

In a nutshell, be a leader: A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behaviour. Some suggestions to accomplish this: (pp.254-255)

• Principle 1: Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
• Principle 2: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
• Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
• Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
• Principle 5: Let the other person save face.
• Principle 6: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be ‘hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.’
• Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
• Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
• Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Journey diary – Black & White Trail (2021)

I noticed the Herefordshire Black & White Trail by chance and decided to explore it. I searched its introduction and found some useful information as follows.

• A photographers dream – Herefordshire Black & White Villages (You can download a guide from the website.)
• Herefordshire’s Black & White Villages Trail
• Black & White Villages Trail
• Discover the Black and White Village Trail of Herefordshire (Basically I followed the route on this map.)
• It’s April – Time for the Black and White Trail!

The official Black and White Trail is a 40 mile (64km) circle route through classic English picturesque countryside in Herefordshire.

Friday the 12th November, drizzle and cloudy

We headed to Leominster at 9ish in the morning. After 1hr20mins journey, we arrived at our first stop. As it was the Friday market day, we parked at a short-stay car park near the Grange Court. Actually, a few streets allow free on-street parking up to 2 hours. The town is small. We picked up some useful trail leaflets at the Leominster tourist information centre, located at a corner of the Corn Square. We strolled around the town centre, saw a few timber-framed buildings and visited some antique shops. We suddenly attracted to a bronze model, located at a site called “Five Ways”, being the junction of Broad, High, Burgess and Church Streets and Draper’s Lane. Later we realised that this model named as the Market Hall model but it refers to the building – Grange Court, where we saw it earlier near the car park. As it started to rain slightly, we entered the Grange Court and learned its history and John Abel – a “King of Carpenter”. It’s free, like a museum, a learning space, and many rooms have been rented out as business offices. There is a nice Cafe too. 

Our next stop was Dilwyn, a small village. We parked on a side road and talked to a local man. He told us the most visited place is the village green surrounded by black and white cottages opposite to the Crown Inn. Indeed, it’s a beautiful tranquil area and we only saw two people nearby.

Around 10 mins drive from Dilwyn, we arrived at Weobley, a village with many enchanting black and white timbered buildings, some dating back to 14th century. The pink and black house – the Stawne – marks the way into the village. You won’t miss it as this little historical unique house is eye-catching. We spent more than an hour on strolling around the village. The post office, the Red Lion Inn, the High Street and quiet lanes offers symbols of timber-framed black and white buildings. These buildings are all different, but it’s not easy to remember which one is which. Only the ones with outstanding or even unusual shapes/colours can be remembered. I would say this is a must-visit village!

We didn’t realise that the Great Oak (about 900 years old) is a mile away from the Eardisley centre until we asked local people. So we didn’t stop at the church road of Eardisley, but drove slowly along the road and took a quick look at the ancient black and white houses. Turned to the street next to the Tram Inn. There is a brown sign for the Great Oak, but there is no much space for car parking (for three cars maximum next to the tree). Fortunately, it’s very quiet and no visitors nearby.

Before it’s getting dark (16:40pm), we arrived at the Lemore Estate, an elegant hotel. As it’s the off-season, there was low occupancy. This is a wonderful choice if you want to take the Black and White Trail and stay there.

Saturday the 13th November, sunny

In the early morning, we had a nice stroll in the sunrise, and after the breakfast, we headed to Kington, where was a 20mins drive from the hotel. There were not many black and white buildings in the town centre, even the Kington Tourist Information Centre was a small common terrace house, which was closed. We strolled to the St. Mary’s Church and visited a few antique shops, where we learned the cigarette card sets.

As the weather was so good, we couldn’t help stopping and viewing the beautiful idyllic scenery on the side of A44. Then we stopped at the Old Weymouth Arms and the Wharf and strolled around the Lyonshall church. If you have time, I do recommend you walk to the church as it’s on the top of a small hill. Be cautious if you want to drive up to the church as it’s a sharp uphill turn into a narrow lane towards the church. It’s opposite to the Old Weymouth Arms and the Wharf. From the top, you can have an overlook of the picturesque countryside.

About 12:00 noon, we arrived at Pembridge, an important visit of the day. There are lots of 16th and 17th century timber-framed buildings on the West street, the East street and the Bridge street. Some famous buildings include: the New Inn, the Market Hall, the Trafford Almshouses, the Duppa Almshouses, the Bell Tower. It’s also worth visiting the Old Chapel Gallery, where we found some distinctive interesting arts and crafts. If without the contemporary cars parked aside of the buildings and on the streets, I felt I was in a 16th century village. We spent about 2 hours there.

We headed to Eardisland about 14:00pm. This is an award-winning “uncommonly pretty village” which was absolutely worth visiting. It’s small, but the old stylish cottages, ancient bridge, the river and stream, dovecote, the oldest AA Kiosk and friendly local residents made us like it very much. I think the local residents must be very proud of living there. One resident told us where are the best places to take photos. Another resident chatted to us and said they found a cottage in this beautiful village on sale six years ago and decided to move there. They were very pleased to live in the small community.

In conclusion, this was an enjoyable and peaceful treat for me in the late autumn. I recommend the trail indeed. Thinking of my experience, I would say that if I go to the Black and White Trail again, I won’t spend too much time at Leominster (1.5 hrs are enough) and Kington (an hour is enough). In a long summer day, I would visit Weobley, Eardisley, Lyonshall, Pembridge and Eardisland. In a short winter day, I would visit Weobley, Pembridge and/or Eardisland. It’s an ideal area of spending a weekend to five days on slowly discovering the medieval villages.

We did not visit Monkland (Cheese Dairy), Sarnesfield, Kinnersley, Luntley and Kingsland. These places are also recommended. However, I leave them for my next trips.

Impact of parents’ attitudes and mindsets and beliefs

It took me a while to finish reading the book <<Born to Win: Transactional Analysis with Gestalt Experiments>>. I knew this book from a coaching skills training course.

I read it when I felt relaxed, and it’s always as a low priority after I have done other things that occupied my time. Sometimes I picked it up again after a few weeks without touching it. I like to read the book although I am not particularly interested in psychology and read it with great enthusiasm. It does help me to understand how parents could affect their children and why as an adult, we behave in certain ways. It introduced a Transactional analysis approach to help us to know ourselves, to know how we relate to others, and to discover the dramatic course our life is taking. It helps us to evaluate our old decisions and behaviours and determine change or not.

There are three ego states: the Parent ego state, the Adult ego state and the Child ego state.

When you are acting, thinking, feeling as you observed your parents to be doing, you are in your Parent ego state.

When you are dealing with current reality, gathering facts, and computing objectively, you are in your Adult ego state.

When you are feeling and acting as you did when you were a child, you are in your Child ego state, (p.18)

“The Child is the foundation of a person’s self-image. You feelings of being a winner or a loser are likely to stem from your Child ego state.” (p.169)

This book reminded me what the psychotherapist Alfred Adler said, “A lucky person’s lifetime is cured by childhood, while an unlucky person’s lifetime is spent curing childhood.”

I also listened to an audio book <<人生由我>>, written by Maye Musk, read by a well-known Chinese TV anchor Li Ruiying (李瑞英). This is a translated Chinese version. The original book name is <<A Woman Makes a Plan: Advice for a Lifetime of Adventure, Beauty, and Success>>. I quite like this inspiring book and recommend it to all women specifically. The book taught me: (1) the importance of parents as role models, (2) the attitude to handling bad things (don’t always worry about things that have not happened); when it comes, find an effective resolution, (3) be kind to others and don’t expect reciprocation, (4) teach your children to take responsibilities for their decisions, (5) keep learning, and more.

Journey diary – Kent (2021)

I haven’t been to the south east England before and I wanted to see some new places, so this trip aimed to explore the area. My original plan was shown in the map as follows.

A trip plan

Sunday the 19th September, cloudy

I headed to the east in the morning. It wasn’t very busy on the motorways until near the J16 and J17 of M4 as they were closed and the traffic had been diverted. It took me an extra hour or so to find the right way. The traffic delays were unpleasant and the weather wasn’t good either, heavy rain!

Luckily, the rain stopped when I arrived at the Hever Castle & Gardens at 12:30pm. There are two entrances and car parking is free. The admission to the gardens was £15.85. Although the weather was not great, as it’s Sunday, there were many visitors, families with kids, even a wedding was scheduled from 15:30pm. The place is big with a lake, mazes, topiary trees, a playground and small gardens (see a map). It’s nice to stroll around and spent about 3 hours there.

Then it rained again. After 30-minutes drive, I arrived at Royal Tunbridge Wells, where was a nice town to stay the night in. The hotel was opposite The Common, an oasis of green with striking sandstone outcrops. The staff gave me a piece of nice helpful town map. Before it got dark, I had a quick walk around the town centre, but I didn’t have time to wander The Common. The town was quiet as many shops and attractions were closed at late afternoon on Sundays. I would say the Chalybeate Spring is not as attractive as I thought and the Calverley Grounds is a beautiful landscaped park to stroll through.

Monday the 20th September, cloudy

In the morning, I headed to Maidstone at first. I changed my plan a bit here. I planned to stop at the Mote Park and stroll around the park. However, I noticed that there is a river in Maidstone from the tourists leaflet. By my experience, often there are nice views along a river. Hence, I stopped at Maidstone and walked the town centre and the riverside. As time allowed (2 hours free street parking), I visited the Mote Park too. However, I regretted somehow to walk to the Mote Park. Firstly, it’s a 30-minutes walk from the Maidstone Museum to the Park and I should have saved my energy for other places. Secondly, there was not a lot to see in the Park. Anyway, this was an unknown trip. Only experienced, then I knew I liked it or not.

At 12 noon, I arrived at the Leeds Castle, my main visit of the day. The ticket was expensive, £28 and can be used free for 12 months. If I don’t live far, I would definitely go to visit it regularly. I recommend this place as it’s very beautiful with the castle, nice views of landscapes, well maintained gardens, a lake, a bird of prey centre, a maze, sculpture exhibitions and more interesting things for everyone (see a map). It’s easy to spend a day there.

At about 17:00pm, I arrived at Canterbury where I stayed overnight. Before the night came, I wandered the town centre. There were many old narrow lanes and timbered/half-timbered houses. Interestingly I saw more tourists and young people/students in the town centre. I guess this is because a few universities are at Canterbury and the new semester starts soon, and Canterbury is a popular place for tourists as a hotel room was expensive comparing to my other bookings previously and this time. It took me about 25 minutes to walk from the hotel to the Canterbury Cathedral. As I had used too much of my energy in the day, I didn’t explore Canterbury well enough.

Tuesday the 21st September, sunny

The weather became brighter and warmer which was ideal for travel. I firstly stopped at Whitstable, a bohemian seaside town. I didn’t go there for its fresh seafood and annual oyster festival. I just like the coast and needed a little fresh air for a post-lockdown break. As it’s only 15-minutes drive from Canterbury to Whitstable, why not to visit it too? Whitstable beach was tranquil in the morning with countable dog walkers. It’s nice to stroll along the pretty pebble beach and see the peaceful blue sea waves.

About 10:30am, I arrived at Herne Bay, a vibrant yet charming unspoilt coastal town. There were more tourists and motorcyclists in this place. I strolled to the Hampton Pier West beach. Ideal to take in the fresh sea air. I like the colourful beach huts, the pebble beach and fabulous views although I guessed the huts were not open to public due to Covid restrictions. Then I strolled to the Herne Bay Clock Tower and had a lunch break sitting on a bench in the sun, watching walkers, tourists, elderlies, kids, dogs and joggers on the long stretch of seafront. A splendid two miles of seafront!

As walked a lot, I started to feel a bit feet pain. Thus I decided to drive to the Reculver Towers and Roman Fort rather than walk there from the Herne Bay. The medieval church was free to enter but parking charged £1.80 per hour. There wasn’t much to see apart from the towers, the ruined remains of the Roman fort and the shore.

At 14:00pm I headed to Margate, a fairly modern resort town, where I stayed overnight. Obviously this is a popular place thinking of the busy traffic. If it’s a summer holiday season, it could be much busier than the time I have chosen. I arrived at the hotel at 15:00ish and rested about one hour and forty minutes. Subsequently, I started to walk along the beach, from the Newgate Lower Promenade to Botany Bay. It was a delightful stroll (about 2 hours) on sandy beaches in low tide at sunset. I enjoyed seeing people, old and young, bravely swam in the Walpole Bay Tidal Pool (a whopping four acres), a man dug worms for bait, a group of young fellows built a beach bonfire, and the stunning views of white cliffs and chalk stacks. If it’s not getting dark so soon, I would love to spend more time on the beach, might collect fossils, shells, nice shaped pebbles and white chalk stones.

Wednesday the 22nd September, sunny

Another nice sunny day! In the early morning, I went to explore the Margate Harbour Arm, Margate Beach and the town centre. The sea was peaceful, the beach was quiet with sporadic people, shops were not open yet and pupils walked to schools and people went to work. How amazing it is to start a day like this no matter it’s to work or to school!

I left Margate at 10:15am and arrived at Dover around 11:00am. This was the place where I decided to spend a day at. When I saw the Dover Castle from the streets, I changed my mind even though I didn’t plan to visit it. I guess its location has attracted to me. I’d like to visit the castle, there must be nice views of the town from the top of the castle! I walked about 30 minutes from the town centre to the castle. The castle was not very big, but the view was brilliant and it’s worthy visiting and strolling around 2 hours there.

About 14:00pm, I checked in and had a brief rest. About 15:50pm, I set off again to walk the White Cliffs of Dover, chalk grassland and coastline. It’s impossible to miss the Port of Dover, a busy commercial harbour where was full of cargo ships, freighter, cruises, ferries and lorries. It’s also impossible to miss the white cliffs as it’s just the shore. It’s unbelievable that households just live next to the cliffs and manage the risk from rock falls. Taking cliff-top walks from the National Trust entrance to the South Foreland Lighthouse needed about 50 minutes (see a map). There are many footpaths across the chalk grassland. I went by walking the top coastal paths and came back by walking the lower coastal paths. It’s absolutely stunning scenery! I can’t recommend it more. I love this place as much as the Seven Sisters chalk cliffs.

Thursday the 23rd September, sunny

To make use of my time at the most, I left Dover at 8:20am and headed to Camber Sands, where is a pretty long sandy beach. The car park was free. Might be too early (I arrived there around 9:10am), I only saw a few dog walkers, a group of staff of the Kitesurf Centre and 4-6 young kitesurfers. It’s pleasant to stroll on the tranquil sparkling sandy beach. Sometimes I was attracted to the beautiful transparent pebbles, shells and crabs appeared from the golden sands. I’m sure I could stroll a long distance on the beach if I didn’t need to leave.

I stopped at Rye and spent 2 hours there. It’s a medieval port with cobbled lanes and well-retained half-timbered old houses, which gave me an impression like York. The town is small but there were many tourists to visit unique local shops, pubs and restaurants. The streets were busy and I was surprised that cars were allowed to drive over the narrow cobbled lanes. Free street parking was almost impossible, but the paid street parking was inexpensive, 80p for 2 hours.

I had a nice break at Rye and then returned home. Fortunately, the way home was smoother than I went to the East England. I ended my trip and got home around 16:00pm. Later I heard the news that protesters blocked the Port of Dover and the M25 and huge queues at petrol stations. I did noticed the fuel price increased but didn’t see the queues for topping up fuel. I knew that the UK is lacking of lorry drivers, but didn’t know it has affected supply in business and industries so much. Hope the problems can be resolved gradually and peacefully.

As a summary, this was a wonderful trip that helped me to get fresh air and mind. Although Covid-19 is continuing to spread around the world, I saw many people gathered without wearing masks and keeping distance. I hope confirmed numbers of Covid cases are dropping and there won’t be another lockdown in this winter. Thinking about my plan, most places I planned to visit are well worth visiting. Preparing a map of the destination was very useful for me to save time. However, considering about taking my time and energy to see the attractions, I would have given up the Mote Park, the Hampton Pier and the Reculver Towers and Roman Fort, and spent more time on exploring Canterbury, Botany Bay and the White Cliffs of Dover.