- Awareness – being aware of what I want to change and what I want to maintain
- Rewarding effort
- Active acceptance and then act
- Go ahead and change it. Change our behaviours
- Act internal too and visulaising
- Do not do unto yourself what you would not do unto others, or do unto yourself what you do unto others
- Know it’s hard to help others as it’s an internal change
- Be the example
- Sharing stories
- Rewarding effort and the journey
Referring to 3Ms talked in the 7th session, Tal recommended 3Ps as an alternative of 3Ms that can help us to cope with the difficulty time or negative feelings.
The 3Ps are (1) The permission to be human – accepting it’s emotional, it’s difficulty, it’s reality. (2) Positive – change the interpretation and see opportunities in the failure. Taking distraction to do something you enjoy. It’s not about avoiding. (3) Taking perspective. Ask ourselves is this really matter? what is really matter?
Psychological maturity is about the ability to willingly shift perspective.
Tal shared a wonder drug as the start of the mind-body topic:
- 30 minutes of physical exercise, 4 times a week
- at least of 15 minutes of mindful exercise 6 or 7 times a week
- 8 hours of sleep more or leas per 24 hours
- at least 12 hugs a day
- Physical exercises. Yes, this is no problem for me. I have made it as my routine.
- Mindful. Yes, I can do it more and regularly. I have done it sometimes over the two years. I can make it as a routine.
- Sleep. My most favorite routine.
- Hugs. Hmm, this is hard for me as I still don’t feel so comfortable to hug people or to be hugged though I have lived in the UK for so many years. One reason is I grew up in China where adults do not hug each other so much in terms of the culture. It’s possible with very close friends, family members or your young kids sometimes. Another reason is I don’t know if it’s okay to hug the same person 12 times in a day. Are there any differences to hug 12 different people in a day? I need to work out a way to practise this 😉
- Ellen Langer – more nuance understanding of self
- Carol Dweck – Rewarding effort
- Buddhism – accept it, take it as a tool for growth, as a way of learning ourselves
- Karen Horney – our neurosis
- Samuel Coleridge – his view about writing, enjoy the process of writing and avoid to be perfectionism
- Dalai Lama – the word “compassion” in Tibetan is “tsewe”, which means compass others as well as ourselves.
- Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life
- Martin Seligman- the problem of current psychology is focusing too much on neck-up, but often what happens is about neck-down.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book Full Catastrophe Living: How to cope with stress, pain and illness using mindfulness meditation
- Michael Babyak – the importance of exercise
- Dienstbier and Zillig’s book The Handbook of Positive Psychology – over-exercise is the same to the lack of exercise. The importance of recovery.
- Wing and Jerry – the importance of social support